The Truth About Spending the Holidays Alone

I love Christmas. Well actually, I love celebrating any holiday but Christmas has always held a special place in my heart.

The moment November 12th came around Michael Bublé’s Christmas album would start and the bin of decorations would come out from the basement. Santa Clause was on his way and it was about to look like the north pole barfed all over my house.

As a little girl, I was so lucky to have a mother who poured her whole heart into making the holidays feel so magical. From handmade ornaments and gingerbread houses, to skiing and ice skating, December felt like something special. It was a season I looked forward to all year long.

And yet, our Christmases weren’t always perfect. Some were marked by family blowups, my own financial stress, comparison, or quiet loneliness. Some ended in tears.

So why did I still love the holidays so deeply?

Because Christmas was never about perfection.

It was about connection and giving to others.

There was nothing I loved more than sharing the season with the people around me, finding small ways to make others feel seen, loved, and a little lighter. No matter where I was in December, I always found a way to create Christmas magic.

Whether that meant buying a tiny tree for my university house, purchasing the present I couldn’t wait to watch my sister unwrap, or hunting down the best Christmas lights to show my aunts while visiting them in Florida, the joy always came from sharing it with others.

We all know that feeling, how your soul lights up when you get to share what you love with the people you love. Especially with a partner.

Creating new memories, blending traditions, and starting new ones. Last year, I experienced one of the most beautiful Christmases of my life. One overflowing with love, shaped by so much intention, and filled with amazing traditions that brought everyone together.

But this year looks different…

No partner.

No snow.

No family.

And if you’re missing someone a little extra this holiday season, whether its a friend, family member, or partner from the past, I want you to know, it’s okay. You’re not alone.

The holidays can be both beautiful and heavy.

Two things can be true at once.

Psychologically speaking, this season has a way of bringing old memories to the surface. Traditions like lights, music, familiar places, even certain foods can act as emotional cues, gently stirring feelings of loneliness or longing for what once was. That’s why waves of sadness can show up unexpectedly, no matter where you are in the world.

Joy and sadness often exist side by side, and that’s okay.

Of course, parts of me miss last year, the ease of being surrounded by love, the familiarity of shared traditions, the comfort of togetherness. There are moments when that absence feels tender and noticeable. But instead of letting that sadness take over, I’ve been meeting these memories with appreciation.

What a gift to have had the privilege to experience something so meaningful, and hold memories that still warm me today.

You can feel grateful and lonely at the same time. And choosing gratitude doesn’t erase the ache, but it does soften it. It creates a gentler way forward.

If you find yourself missing someone a little extra this season, or feeling a bit lonely, maybe this shift can help, even just a little bit. To hold appreciation for what you were able to experience, because the fact that you miss it means it mattered. And having those memories to cherish is, in itself, an incredible gift.

Spending the holidays alone hasn’t been easy, but it has reminded me of the real magic of Christmas: sharing connection, and that’s something we don’t need a holiday to practice. Love, presence, and generosity aren’t seasonal. You do not need a special day to gift these things to others, they’re available to us every day.

This season has reminded me to celebrate the small things, to make time for family and friends beyond the month of December, that you can recreate traditions even when things look a little bit different, and to remember that the most meaningful gift we can give someone is our presence, our full attention to be there to listen undistracted and without judgement.

As they say in Elf the first rule of the Code of Elves is to “Treat everyday like Christmas.” And maybe that’s the point, to carry the feeling with us long after the decorations come down and to continue spreading the warmth, generosity, and cheer of the season to those around us everyday of the year.

Even when the season looks different, the magic remains.

It lives in our ability to connect, to give, and to love every single day.

Xo.

Cass

P.S. (If you spot a spelling mistake, even with spellcheck, let’s call it character… it was written from the heart, not perfection)